Someone died ....

Are we who we were meant to be ? This thought crossed my mind when i was pouring water over someone who passed on.If she had realised early on that this day was coming into her life inevitably , as it did today , would she have lead her life differently ? As the lady who was giving her the last purification washed her and poured myriad jugs of water over her , all the time praying to Allah to grant her noor , and protect her from the azab of the qabr, maghfirat etc .....I, for a minute, saw myself in her place and realised that , wanted everyone to speak well of me at that time , not just as courtesy but to really mean ever word .....I wanted everyone to cry real tears of loss ...I wanted to leave a vaccume in my own little world when I left , however temporary ,but a real vaccume in the hearts of my friends , I wanted to have made a real difference in someones life ...... I felt while watching her , when I was shaken out of my reverie by the woman who was bathing the body ......that at that moment ,I had been given a second chance in life and that I could really be who I was meant to be all over again from that moment .....and I remembered that terribly moving scene from the animated movie "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" when scrooge is looking at all the tormented souls out of his window and one of the souls goes to a poor woman holding a little baby in tattered clothes in that bitter cold .....and incidentally only scrooge can see it and the woman cant ....and in the most hopeless voice the soul tells the woman ......"I WISH I COULD HELP YOU ".....but she cannot hear it anymore ...... Its too late .....